The wedding
The Wedding
Sunday was the wedding for Bruce Malowa, one of our teachers. I arrived back on Friday from the US. Then on Saturday one of the things I did was to have all the kids come in their clothes so we could make sure everyone was adequately dressed. We still had a couple of shirts that were too big and some shoes that were needed. So I tried to find the needed items. I also took ribbon around to the houses for the girls to use in their hair.
Sunday we started gathering on our verandah at 9:30. All 42 kids went, all the mothers and aunties, the Kamaus, us, and the Mumbas girls. It took 2 trips to transport everyone to Liteta. There was much excitement, as you can imagine.
When we arrived at the church, all eyes who were near the doors, turned to me. Benedict and I were the only white people there with over 500 in attendance. I was escorted to the front of the church since I was the guest of honor. Bruce had asked me a couple of months ago. Our folks- children and adults - were seated in a couple of places in the church. The choir was singing, acapella, and they were very good. I enjoyed listening to them. In the US they could cut CDs that people would buy.
After a delay the ceremony started. One of the first things was that the "Bible boy" came in. He came in with a couple of young adults who were carrying the 2 pillows that the bride and groom would kneel on. The boy was the cutest thing. He was all dressed up in a suit. He carried the Bible and did a little slow step to the music. He was about 4-5 and seriously did his job - all the way up and all the way back.
The groomsmen came in from the front of the church, the bridesmaids from the back, doing a kind of dance step. The met in the center of the aisle and continued with slow dance steps as they came together. Actually, the men came in with the flowers that they then gave the girls.
A ribbon was then put across the aisle. So Alice, the bride, came in from the back on the arm of her father with her head bowed (humilty and seriousness) (to the tune of "Here Comes the Bride played by the DJ and from a CD. How many times have I played that for weddings in the US! The recording was even of an organ!). Bruce came in from the front. They were doing a slow dance type step too and they met half way down the aisle. The pastor then said that before the service could proceed that someone had to give permission. So the father said he did. Everyone cheered. Then Bruce and Alice proceeded up the aisle, both being very, very serious - no smiles.
The wedding continued with the bride's head down the whole time and Bruce looking very serious. When it came time to pray, the pastor asked all the couples that had been married the longest - 30 years or more to come up and kneel around the couple to pray for them. So Benedict and I were part of that group. At the end of the ceremony, the pastor had all those same couples process out.
After the wedding, we had to take most of the kids back to the Village. Then the 6 7th graders, Kimberly, Sena, Isha, and 2 mothers with me went to the reception. It was a small hall and when we arrived people were lined up trying to get in. Of course, my white face made us stand out and they knew I was the guest of honor so we all were escorted in. People were sitting in rows of chairs facing a center aisle where the bridal party came in and then the bride and groom. They still were both very somber.
Certain things were done, like cutting the cake after a guy danced in carrying the knife. Gifts were brought up to the front - many unwrapped and you don't need to have a card since they don't write thank yous and there is no mail delivery here. There was a time for coming up and greeting the couple. Before that a member of the bride's family gave a short speech, a member of the groom's family, and the guest of honor (that's me). I had Zandile interpret for me.
I thanked them and said it was a great honor to be asked. I said I had been married for almost 38 years and had 6 children, 4 of them married so this reminded me of those weddings. I referred to the quote in Proverbs about a strand of 3 cords is not easily broken - husband, wife, the Lord. I also referred to the accident they had been in when going to marital counseling. It was a miracle that they weren't killed and I said that God had a purpose for them together to serve Him. Then I said that this was my first Zambian wedding and I was having trouble with getting use to the Zambian tradition of the bride and groom being serious. I said I knew that it was their culture to be serious (they clapped and laughed) but (looking at Bruce and Alice) I hope that they had joy and a song in their heart. They smiled!!! This was a bit of a comfort since it is hard to know what is going on in a person's mind and heart when they look so serious and almost sad.
All in all it was a very interesting time. I would now like to go to another Zambian wedding - maybe Pentecostal and not Seventh Day Adventist.
So that is my report and we are still talking about it. Bruce and Alice and a female cousin of his have now moved into the Village for a short time while we finish the first building of the senior staff/teacher housing. It is common to have another family member stay with you, I think, when you get married.
It is a different world!!
Sunday was the wedding for Bruce Malowa, one of our teachers. I arrived back on Friday from the US. Then on Saturday one of the things I did was to have all the kids come in their clothes so we could make sure everyone was adequately dressed. We still had a couple of shirts that were too big and some shoes that were needed. So I tried to find the needed items. I also took ribbon around to the houses for the girls to use in their hair.
Sunday we started gathering on our verandah at 9:30. All 42 kids went, all the mothers and aunties, the Kamaus, us, and the Mumbas girls. It took 2 trips to transport everyone to Liteta. There was much excitement, as you can imagine.
When we arrived at the church, all eyes who were near the doors, turned to me. Benedict and I were the only white people there with over 500 in attendance. I was escorted to the front of the church since I was the guest of honor. Bruce had asked me a couple of months ago. Our folks- children and adults - were seated in a couple of places in the church. The choir was singing, acapella, and they were very good. I enjoyed listening to them. In the US they could cut CDs that people would buy.
After a delay the ceremony started. One of the first things was that the "Bible boy" came in. He came in with a couple of young adults who were carrying the 2 pillows that the bride and groom would kneel on. The boy was the cutest thing. He was all dressed up in a suit. He carried the Bible and did a little slow step to the music. He was about 4-5 and seriously did his job - all the way up and all the way back.
The groomsmen came in from the front of the church, the bridesmaids from the back, doing a kind of dance step. The met in the center of the aisle and continued with slow dance steps as they came together. Actually, the men came in with the flowers that they then gave the girls.
A ribbon was then put across the aisle. So Alice, the bride, came in from the back on the arm of her father with her head bowed (humilty and seriousness) (to the tune of "Here Comes the Bride played by the DJ and from a CD. How many times have I played that for weddings in the US! The recording was even of an organ!). Bruce came in from the front. They were doing a slow dance type step too and they met half way down the aisle. The pastor then said that before the service could proceed that someone had to give permission. So the father said he did. Everyone cheered. Then Bruce and Alice proceeded up the aisle, both being very, very serious - no smiles.
The wedding continued with the bride's head down the whole time and Bruce looking very serious. When it came time to pray, the pastor asked all the couples that had been married the longest - 30 years or more to come up and kneel around the couple to pray for them. So Benedict and I were part of that group. At the end of the ceremony, the pastor had all those same couples process out.
After the wedding, we had to take most of the kids back to the Village. Then the 6 7th graders, Kimberly, Sena, Isha, and 2 mothers with me went to the reception. It was a small hall and when we arrived people were lined up trying to get in. Of course, my white face made us stand out and they knew I was the guest of honor so we all were escorted in. People were sitting in rows of chairs facing a center aisle where the bridal party came in and then the bride and groom. They still were both very somber.
Certain things were done, like cutting the cake after a guy danced in carrying the knife. Gifts were brought up to the front - many unwrapped and you don't need to have a card since they don't write thank yous and there is no mail delivery here. There was a time for coming up and greeting the couple. Before that a member of the bride's family gave a short speech, a member of the groom's family, and the guest of honor (that's me). I had Zandile interpret for me.
I thanked them and said it was a great honor to be asked. I said I had been married for almost 38 years and had 6 children, 4 of them married so this reminded me of those weddings. I referred to the quote in Proverbs about a strand of 3 cords is not easily broken - husband, wife, the Lord. I also referred to the accident they had been in when going to marital counseling. It was a miracle that they weren't killed and I said that God had a purpose for them together to serve Him. Then I said that this was my first Zambian wedding and I was having trouble with getting use to the Zambian tradition of the bride and groom being serious. I said I knew that it was their culture to be serious (they clapped and laughed) but (looking at Bruce and Alice) I hope that they had joy and a song in their heart. They smiled!!! This was a bit of a comfort since it is hard to know what is going on in a person's mind and heart when they look so serious and almost sad.
All in all it was a very interesting time. I would now like to go to another Zambian wedding - maybe Pentecostal and not Seventh Day Adventist.
So that is my report and we are still talking about it. Bruce and Alice and a female cousin of his have now moved into the Village for a short time while we finish the first building of the senior staff/teacher housing. It is common to have another family member stay with you, I think, when you get married.
It is a different world!!
posted by Kathleen | 9:19 AM
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